Eczema, My Teacher

These past two months have been grueling, mentally and physically. But, as with every hardship, there are beautiful lessons to be learned. Here are some lessons I've taken away from my experience with dis-ease and healing in my body.

1. Sometimes band-aids make things worse.

You know how if you put a band-aid on an infected wound without properly cleaning the wound, it can make it worse and just an infested mess?

Well, that was my first lesson.

The past month has been one of utter despondency. In August, I stopped using my dermatologist-prescribed topical steroid cream for the "dyshydrotic eczema" on my fingers and palms. I would only use it from time to time, when the itching and pus bubbles got so bad that I couldn’t stand it. After trying many different holistic methods to heal it, I finally learned about TSW (Topical Steroid Withdrawal). One night, I woke up at 4 am, itching like crazy. I mean, it was as bad as the shingles that I experienced five years ago, which felt like fire ants crawling and biting under my skin.

Desperate and unable to sleep, I got my laptop out and attempted (again) to find a cure to my eczema. That’s when I found out about TSW, which basically means that if you have used a topical steroid for an extended period of time, you can experience withdrawal symptoms that look like your eczema flaring up, even worse than before. Itching, oozing, pus-filled bumps, thin skin, insomnia... this all sounded like what I was experiencing.

I read on a leading eczema non-profit's website that it could take weeks to YEARS (!??!!!) to heal from that. I immediately swore off the cream, and couldn’t believe I had never had this piece of information before.

Now, I knew when I went to the dermatologist and got a refill in 2019, that the cream was just a band-aid, but I didn’t see any other way to heal from my searches on Google and even Duck Duck Go. I wish I had known that the cream would make my life worse.

So… since I stopped using that cream, I’ve been in agony. My eczema is the worst it’s ever been and it has been affecting my mental health. Day in and day out, that’s all I think about because it either itches or is sensitive at all times, especially being on my hands which I use so often.

Many times, modern allopathic medicine will make you think it’s healing you… but really it could make things worse. Be sure to do your research into the side effects (or rather, the effects) of prescribed medicine and decide if it’s right for you on the whole.

2. Don’t resort to isolation

I get teary-eyed remembering the glimmer of hope I received when my boyfriend called one day. I had been eyeing a couple of different programs for healing, and one of them in particular was pretty expensive. I had been hemming and hawing on whether to do it, but that day’s itchiness was so bad that I decided, Yes, I’m going to go through with it, I'll do ANYTHING to heal!

Well, on that phone call with R, he told me about his talk with a health practitioner, on whose podcast he was a guest. They were talking about microbiome, and R decided to ask about eczema and how that might be healed, as his girlfriend was suffering from it. Oh, easy, the practitioner said. We need to do a stool test and and also food sensitivities test to see what’s going on with her health. And he went on to say he had helped many people heal from eczema and psoriasis. And as a plus for being friends, he was going to offer his services free of charge.

Wow.

I was incredulous, not only at the kindness of this stranger, but at the obvious love my boyfriend showed by bringing me up into this conversation and helping me find an option for healing.

Not only that; that same day I talked to my Mom about how hopeless I'd been feeling, and she told me about resources her friends had been using to heal various ailments that I could look into.

It was a huge breakthrough in the despair that I had been undergoing, an immediate stress relief to feel that support from my loved ones and hope that I can heal from this! I recognize now that it's OK to need people, to express the pain you're in, because your loved ones want to help. Now that my negative thoughts have been turned to hopeful in healing, I am renewed to continue the fight.

3. And continuing on the fact that we need people…

I thought I could self-heal. I’m such an independent person and believe so strongly in the body's ability to heal itself that I think I can always find the answers alone. I gave myself the diagnosis of leaky gut and candida causing the eczema and attempted multiple protocols to gain control over those. I now know that I need support.

At this point, I recognize that getting the help of a holistic nutritionist or practitioner is beneficial, because I need guidance. It’s very difficult to determine the correct imbalances in my body without doing tests and figuring out which detox pathways are closed... that’s a whole 'nother ballgame. There are just so many parts to it, and I’m not a trained healer, but I can trust people who are to come up with solutions I never would have thought of.

Happy thoughts